Dazzled by Coincidence

In late October of 2013, I was staying with a friend in small-town Saskatchewan long enough to organize my move to Swift Current. One terrible morning, which just happened to fall on my 50^th birthday, my friend informed me he had no coffee cream or creamer in his house. In my world, that’s an emergency. Bad things can happen when I don’t have my morning coffee, and I can’t stand it without cream or some type of whitener. Alas, woe was me. So, I walked to the small corner store in this village of less than 900 souls, found some cream and brought it to the checkout counter.

At that moment, a group of people at the back of the store started singing “Happy Birthday to You”. How did they know it was my birthday? I told the cashier it was in fact my birthday and couldn’t resist asking how these people knew I was coming. The world does, after all, revolve around me. She assured me they had not known I was coming, and the celebration was for a staff member. She told me I was welcome to go back and join with them in the festivities, so I did.

The birthday girl had just blown out the candles on her cake when she looked up and saw me enter the room. I introduced myself and told her we shared the same day of birth. We shook hands and wished each other a happy birthday, then I asked her what year she was born. She said 1963, and she was 50 years old today. She could see I was shocked and asked why. I told her I was also turning 50 this day. We both just stood there a moment then almost simultaneously blurted out, “No way! What are the odds?” and had a good laugh. Out of curiosity I asked her what time of day she was born. She said late afternoon around supper time. Same here, I told her. She offered me a piece of cake, but I’d just eaten breakfast, so declined. We went on chatting a while, then I was on my way, musing about what just happened, and still quite shocked.

Now, let’s take a close look at this event.

On this day, not some other day, my friend was out of coffee cream. I went to the store to buy the much-needed cream. I was in the store for less than 30 seconds when singing started. It was the birthday song. It was my birthday. It was a store employee’s birthday. It was my 50^th birthday. It was her 50^th birthday. She was born on that day in 1963 around supper time. I was born on that same day in 1963 around supper time. Really, what are the odds of this happening? If anyone is capable of orchestrating something like this, with multiple people involved at the same time on the same day inside the same store in the same tiny Saskatchewan village, exactly as I encountered, please tell me how you’d go about it. I say, “Good luck with that!”

So, what are the odds? One in a million? One in a billion? A trillion? Quadrillion? I don’t know. What I do know is that this won’t happen to me again on any future birthdays. Not that it’s the last coincidence I’ll ever experience, but I think you’d agree that this incident has little chance of repetition in my lifetime. I’ve witnessed and been part of many strange and wonderful coincidences, things way beyond mere chance.

Philosophers, poets, religious leaders, authors, academics, and everyday simpletons like me have sought for possible and plausible explanations for these out-of-the-ordinary events. Some have concluded that they’re just accidents, and that paying any attention to the subject is a waste of time. They’d say that a myriad of activities and events, millions of them, in millions of places, happen every day, and it’s just a matter of “when” in which two or more occur at the same time and same place, disguised as something impossible and mysterious. In other words, wait long enough and coincidences will happen. Others, once all the facts are known, can’t help but feel some degree of suspicion that something abnormal, even spooky, is going on here.

Many years ago, my then-wife and I were in financial trouble. We were a family of five. Our food supply was dwindling, and we were well into the panic stage. We received a notice in the mail that our power would be shut off within a few days unless we paid a minimum of fifty dollars toward the overdue amount. Oh yeah, and it was the middle of winter here in Canada. Not good! And fifty whole dollars? Uh, no. They might as well have asked for a million.

That night, I went to a social gathering I regularly attended, and sat beside a man who was known to me but knew nothing of what was going on in my life. After the meeting, we stood up and he turned to me and said, “Murphy, I don’t know why, but I’d like to give you this. Maybe you could take your wife out for supper or something.” He put fifty dollars in my hand. After a few long moments spent desperately trying to decide what to say, I was able to clear my throat and blurt out a thank you to this kind man, who had nearly walked out of earshot. I went home and gave my wife the fifty dollars. I don’t remember mentioning the “take your wife out for supper” part, but she was very happy. The next day, we were off to the power company with 50 bucks in hand. Pretty cool, eh?

Was that mere chance? Coincidence? Fluke? An unimpressive and bland combination of circumstances that was bound to happen at some point if given enough time? Was it divine intervention? A miracle? An answer to unspoken prayer? Was it just physics obeying one if its own laws, as in “nature abhors a vacuum”? Is this how the universe operates? I am open to all possibilities, but as a Christian, I believe the Lord had come to the rescue. Of course I don’t know that for certain, but I did look up and say, “Thanks.”

Someone I know told me of an extraordinary encounter he had with a few of his friends. The three of them planned to meet at a downtown restaurant for lunch. All three were delayed in getting there at the agreed time, and for different reasons. One was stuck in traffic. The second guy had to pull over and answer an important phone call. The third guy’s car was low on gas, and he had to stop to fill up. They all arrived at the restaurant late, but strangely, at the same time. They were outside briefly sharing their various reasons for being late, when one of them noticed a familiar car passing by. He met eyes with the driver, and realized it was a very close friend of his, and of his two buddies. Soon all three were smiling and waving to their mutual pal. As the car drove by, it suddenly pulled over and stopped. Their friend got out and started walking toward them, tears streaming down his cheeks. He was sobbing.

Earlier that morning, this young man had decided to end his life. His plan was to drive to the beach and swim out as far as he could into the ocean…and drown himself. As he drove, he wished that a sign would somehow be given to him that would change his mind. Anything would do, big or small. After a few miles weaving through downtown traffic, he spotted three men laughing on the sidewalk in front of a diner. His eyes met one of them. A moment later, all three men were smiling and waving at him. He loved these three men. They’d guided and supported him through many challenges and heartbreaks, and now he thought of how devastated they would be if he followed through with his planned swim. He had received his sign.

I cannot accept this strange-but-true story as mere coincidence; a random set of unrelated mishaps not orchestrated by anyone or anything. No. The facts deny such an absurd conclusion. The account stirs within me a sense of enchantment, faith, hope, love, and a huge dose of gratitude that I am not alone on my journey through life. If it doesn’t do so with you, perhaps try reading it again.

There are many more instances in which I was strangely and unexpectedly in the right place at the right time. Once, while being interviewed for a job (that I was clearly not qualified for) the interviewer sighed and stated, “I have no idea why I’m doing this. I’ve interviewed many applicants who are far more experienced and educated, but the job is yours if you want it.”

Another time, I attended an interview for the position of Program Coordinator with a non-profit agency. It was held mid-afternoon, and I was alert and ready to impress. But it didn’t go well. In fact, it ranks as one of my worst interview performances. Disappointed, I drove away. Then my cell phone rang. It was the President of the organization asking me to come back and meet with her and the Board of Directors. This seemed very strange, but I went back. Until the final minutes of this second and unexpected meeting, I thought I was still being interviewed for the Program Coordinator’s job until one of them asked if I was interested in applying for the position of, get this, Executive Director. Yeah sure, Murphy, just go ahead and run the whole show. “Yes”, I said, before my mind could catch up with my mouth.

This turn of events completely altered my career path, and led to four years that drastically changed me in many ways. And what was the coincidence? The Board’s meetings were usually held once a month, and in the evening, not mid-afternoon. And this was an emergency meeting to figure out what to do about the recent and unexpected resignation of their Executive Director. They hadn’t even posted the position. As for how they got hold of my resume before I was even a few blocks away, I do not know. It was all surreal.   

Some coincidences are truly mystifying, like the incredible similarities in the lives of American presidents Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy, who lived about one hundred years apart. It is well documented and easy to find on the internet. But be warned, while some facts in this story are true and correct, having been researched and verified by real historians, others are nothing but bunk, likely resulting from a form of “pattern-seeking”, a symptom of a psychological phenomenon known as apophenia, which basically involves the conscious or subconscious ignoring of facts that do not fit an established narrative. This can also manifest as a symptom of Schizophrenia. The mind is a tricky thing. Real facts are interesting enough without the addition of delusional or wishful thinking.  

As you can tell, I like coincidences. They fascinate me. I invite you to send me stories of coincidences you’ve experienced or heard of. They don’t have to be profound. Maybe there will be enough of them for a second part to this post. I’d like that.

Daniel (Murphy) Kennedy